parentingkidsright – SAAKSHI SINGLA

Australia 🇦🇺 😢😢

Posted on January 9, 2020January 14, 2020 by SAAKSHI SINGLA

The world isn’t in a good shape right now. Everyday we wake up to problems which are ready to explode. Problems we didn’t bother to solve in time and now it seems disasters have no stopping signs anywhere. Such times of adversity bring anxiety for the future of our children. The new generation has to inherit a world which seems to be going towards the so called doomsday faster than ever before.

Australia is burning and to wake up to the pictures of growing number of animals dying and so much destruction is heartbreaking. The internet is full news of infernos, forests, homes and animals burning , pictures of koalas and kangaroos( who me a wild life enthusiast has been forever dreaming of meeting in real life someday ), running for their lives. As fires continue to rip through Australia, some devastating numbers are emerging: At least 24 people killed. More than 15 millions hectares torched. Over 1400 homes destroyed and around billion animals killed .

The news has shocking images of destruction which our kids are also consuming. We don’t want them to see adversity or lose hope at such young age, The life has just begin for them, hasn’t it?

What do you think, should we keep such news and images away from kids?

My take : I think we should talk about adversity and global issues, problems and destruction that our world is facing. Tell our kids that it’s the climate change that is making it worse and each one of us are to be blamed somewhere too.Our children need to understand how we and them are stakeholders. The destruction in Australia have also brought in stories of courage, compassion , love and spirit of giving. So when we talk to kids about adversity, when we talk about destruction, we should also to talk about all those stories of hope. Keeping either from our children is not okay as they need to know of the world they will be inheriting. And this is our chance for them to stop making the environmental mistakes our generation and the ones before us have made. The stories of love and hope can be told to young kids and inspire them to be more compassionate.

Let’s tell our kids how their world is changing.

Let’s show them what’s wrong about living selfishly without caring enough for our environment.

Let’s also show how many people still care about animals dying and trying their best to extend help however they can.

Let’s show them hope isn’t all lost.Let’s show how the fire fighters and the common people endangering their own lives to save others.

Let’s give them hope but not by lying about the reality. Instead let’s equip them with a conscious and loads of courage to make things better so that doomsday story remains just a fragment of our imagination!
( The following snapshots are all from Facebook, Getty Images and various news channels reporting the Australian Nightmare )

(Google Steve Irvin to know more about his family and how committed they are to help save our wildlife), credit for the picture – Getty Images )

Education, Life, Parenting

Is your home stimulating ENOUGH for your kids?

Posted on April 13, 2019July 17, 2019 by SAAKSHI SINGLA

Environment matters, what we say to our children matters, how we live our lives matters, how stimulating is our house for our kids matters. Everything matters …especially what we do ourselves matters …..as kids learn not so much by what we say to them but more by seeing us and what we do …they learn by imitation.

So if we read , they read. If we listen to music , they grow up into people appreciating music. We spend our time in creative pursuits , they become creative. We invest in books and are seen reading , they read. We buy things and games which stimulate , they get stimulated . We enjoy going to museums , they will take their kids to museums too.

Our homes are a Petri dish of creativity. More creative we are with how we as parents make our kids spaces meaningful and add meaningful art, games, books & stimulating decor, the more we help in our children’s unconscious and incidental learning. Lets keep giving our kids an environment that inspires and motivates and fill our home with things that matter. Check out our website http://www.lilsakos.com and instagram
ttps://www.instagram.com/lilsakos/ for stimulating products made with lots and lots of love for your precious little ones!

Time flies I am telling you …. I have been there, Time flew fast and so did my kids. Make it Count Moms & Dads. Make your Home Environment Stimulating!

Saakshi Kapoor Singla

Education, Life, Parenting

Are you A Pygmalion Parent?

Posted on December 1, 2018June 9, 2019 by SAAKSHI SINGLA

I have been hibernating…missing from this space but not from my most favourite topic about what makes kids tick and have been indulging in lots of reading and researching. Something I read today stuck on and thought it was worth sharing. Something that I have been following as a parent forever and ever without the knowledge of the fancy name it is called by in Psychological circles “The Pygmalion Effect”.

The Pygmalion Effect is a phenomenon whereby higher expectations lead to an improvement in performance.

But why is it relevant here on a parenting site?

Turns out it is one of the key factors of raising successful and well adjusted kids.

The messages we give out during our parenting journey with our kids are the beliefs that are reinforced in their minds. Beliefs that become a blueprint for them. If the blue print is positive, our kids think themselves to be capable and work towards it. If the blue print is negative , they feel their limitations and work towards strengthening that belief in their minds. We often label our kids … sometimes these labels are good but many a times they aren’t. We label them as shy, as not good in studies, not athletic, lazy etc. And these become their reality. Our expectations form the basis of our child’s self-image. So our expectations should be high from them if we want them to perform better. High expectations does not mean we should expect our tone deaf child to become a Beethoven in future. But a belief that they will become their best versions and what makes them unique.

What we tell our kids will either help them reach success or knock them down, inflate their self esteem or deflate it and start a series of self doubting thoughts and lack of confidence. Parents attitude toward their children spills into their kids psyche and influence how they feel about themselves. Therefore it is important for us parents to continuously give out signals that are strong positive impressions. Our children doing well stems from our own unwavering belief in their ability and goodness.

Brooke Hampton’s famous quote, “Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become”, talks about this beautiful power of believing.

So are you a Pygmalion Parent?

If not, stop labeling, and make your kids believe in their strengths by having higher expectations from them & they will surprise you by performing to the best of their ability and better!

I am a Pygmalion Parent and it’s worked for me to be one… my kids are on their individual journeys and I don’t know where will they reach. But they are sure of themselves and I continue to believe in their inherent strength and goodness!

Life, Parenting

Back to being the Happy Twosome again!

Posted on October 10, 2018June 9, 2019 by SAAKSHI SINGLA

Half of our lives are over or let’s say half of our lives are yet to be lived. Been through many stages, a few more milestones to reach ….some which have limits , some other limitless that are right there , others unknown and boundless. Looking forward to all of them ….Growing old -greying hair and those cute little wrinkles which keep getting deeper with each look in the mirror. Evolving- making life more meaningful, keeping our hearts young, trying the hardest to keep our brains sharp and most importantly going back to being the happy twosome again!

Philosophical today yes ….feeling lost yes but happy as our kids seem to have found their life paths for the coming few years. Also a little sad because this roller coaster stage of babies in our tummies to much taller beings than us seems to have ended the soonest it feels. But no complaints because life has been good. We are living in three different time zones ….counting our blessings for being fortunate enough to give the exposure of different worlds to our children.

Welcoming the new stage, welcoming for sure but also missing the old one …missing it a hell of a lot .Too soon, too too soon right now. There is no blaring music in the house, kids music has been replaced by my phone alarm reminders to call them at their most convenient times….one’s morning is our night and the other’s morning our evening, so phone calls and video chats work well in the morning for one and night for the other. House is the cleanest it’s been in ages, things seem to be all in their designated places forever, kids room doors are open, dog is coping by hibernating, phone chargers aren’t missing anymore, almirahs have never been more organised, bathroom floors are absolutely dry, TV remotes are right there….not in the crevices of sofas anymore. House is weirdly quiet, there are no disagreements, no howling, no pleading for late nights, no fighting , no getting after the kids to clean, get off the phone and asking them to give Netflix a break. No one is pulling anyone’s legs, no drops , no pick ups and no laying the table for four anymore till …sometime to come. Everything seems to be new, changed and our world has taken a 360 degree turn.

Market trips feel needless and when I do make the occasional trip ….the realisation of having no kids at home hits hard. The grocery bill is the smallest it’s been in 19 years. My eyes that have been used to checking out the freezers have small tears rolling down the cheeks because all the cheese slices, the cream spreads and butters seem to looking at me begging to be bought. The dressed up windows in the mall seem to be waiting for December to come, ice cream vendors have all disappeared from my way back home, the stationary guy in our local market doesn’t give me a familiar grin anymore and evening walks without his brother and sister seem to be much less exciting for our dog !

Lived half of our lives …..half yet to be lived.
Welcoming the new stage but with a heavy heart right now. It’s going to get better I know so going all out to learn more , experience more and work more !

Saluting my parents and all other parents who have been there …done that…..who have done a fabulous job of going back to being the same happy two some again!

Life, Parenting

We CAN do without you.. Kids!

Posted on July 25, 2018June 9, 2019 by SAAKSHI SINGLA

Another year of heart break is here. Am again seeing parents go through pain, plethora of emotions , constant worrying and loads of loads of anxiety. Time for our kids to go conquer the world on their own… Ok …cutting out the drama, let’s just simply say it’s time for them to go to College.

What is it, I am forced to wonder this year too. Is it the pain of the umbilical cord snapping or simply lacking the courage to let go? They say it’s difficult to lose control and our neediness is what makes us so so vulnerable at advent of this new phase in our kids lives. I don’t think so .. it isn’t that, we parents aren’t worried of losing control or losing the connection with our children. That was the bargain we got into with God , when we were bestowed with gifts so precious. We took them in, made them our own, loved them to bits, protected them from the outside world and laughed and made merry for many years hence. The gifts however had an expiration date and we knew it , we took them in with the condition of letting them go one day.

Parents by definition are people who will jump in front of the wagon to save their kids …endangering their own lives ever so often , actually forever. So where is the selfishness? It isn’t our neediness that makes our hearts sadder. Instead it’s the fear and the constant worry. What if our children aren’t ready to walk the path….full of roadblocks alone.

We will have to let go and keep faith… because though we are looking forward to live our lives without their presence from here on … we will remain hanging on a live wire for sometime to come. Let’s keep reminding ourselves that they will soon return for their winter- summer breaks and slowly and steadily convince us that whatever life is throwing at them… they are taking it all in their stride.

Duck or catch when that bouncer or opportunity comes Kids!

Duck and catch on your own-We Parents can’t help anymore!

Make that decision, bad or good-We Parents can only hope good ones overweigh the bad ones!

Fight your own battles Kids-We Parents are waiting to calm our hearts and make peace with you taking out your own ammunition and your own little armour!

We CAN do without You kids!