Obsessions are good!

“My kids love dinosaurs! Actually they are obsessed, really  really obsessed and  they know all the dinosaur types and names”, said a Mom who loved dinosaurs too, a long long time ago!

“My daughter has an obsession for cars. She loves to collect toy cars and park them in various places in the house, some times those places are under our feet and a whole lot of household members are tripping on them always”, said another mom who is amazed at her daughter’s knowledge about different kinds of cars!

Child Development experts call obsessions like these a “Deep Intense Interest”. We educationists don’t know exactly what sparks these interests and parents often can’t think of the exact moment or event that kicked off this interest — but a lot of  children have one at some point, between the ages of two and six and for some the interest lasts further into childhood. Studies in this field have shown that the most common interests  that children show at early age is in vehicles like planes, trains, cars, action figures, super heroes, machines,  live animals, balls and dinosaurs.

For many of them, these obsessions are their first taste of mastery. They love being an expert. To have a deeper understanding of something their parent doesn’t know enough about, is awesome for them.  It makes them feel like a boss and very powerful. Kelli Chen, a known paediatric psychiatric occupational therapist is of the opinion that these deep interests and obsessions are a big confidence booster for children and help in children’s cognitive development. Many studies in this area point out that these sustained obsessions help them to develop persistence skills and result in increased knowledge,  a longer attention span and much deeper information-processing skills. In nutshell they make intense learners pretty smart and bright.  Decades of research suggest that older children with these so called obsessions and intense interests tend to be of above-average intelligence.

So let your kids develop intense interests and don’t worry about their obsessions. Encourage their need to learn more and more about their favourite topic. Help stimulate their brains by getting them books on the topic and surround their environment with things that can help them in sustaining these obsessions to learn for a long long time.

I love Dinosaurs even now,  It is one of my few intense interest obsessions that stuck right into adulthood.

Check some dinosaur themed products in available on our store!

https://www.lilsakos.com/style-story/little-dinosaur-lovers

Much Love from a Mom who has some of her own intense obsessions !

Saakshi Kapoor Singla

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Kid photo created by freepik – www.freepik.com

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Is your home stimulating ENOUGH for your kids?

Environment matters, what we say to our children matters, how we live our lives matters, how stimulating is our house for our kids matters. Everything matters …especially what we do ourselves matters …..as kids learn not so much by what we say to them but more by seeing us and what we do …they learn by imitation.

So if we read , they read. If we listen to music , they grow up into people appreciating music. We spend our time in creative pursuits , they become creative. We invest in books and are seen reading , they read. We buy things and games which stimulate , they get stimulated . We enjoy going to museums , they will take their kids to museums too.

Our homes are a Petri dish of creativity. More creative we are with how we as parents make our kids spaces meaningful and add meaningful art, games, books & stimulating decor, the more we help in our children’s unconscious and incidental learning. Lets keep giving our kids an environment that inspires and motivates and fill our home with things that matter. Check out our website http://www.lilsakos.com and instagram
ttps://www.instagram.com/lilsakos/  for stimulating products made with lots and lots of love for your precious little ones!

Time flies I am telling you …. I have been there, Time flew fast and so did my kids. Make it Count Moms & Dads. Make your Home Environment Stimulating!

Saakshi Kapoor Singla

For The Mothers of Pulwama Martyrs

Life is unpredictable, they say!
But lives taken away so soon and for what?
By a suicide bomber, who must have been a dead man walking for some time for sure!
Actioned by people whose hearts have been dead for years…brainwashing others to die and kill ….Why God Why?

With you, we are Pulwama Mothers in your grief but we don’t have an answer for you?
Why you , why your kids , why them …when all they do, is stay far away from their homes with danger lurking around them forever …… to keep us safe so that we can look after our own kids day in and day out.

The explosion left almost nothing in one piece is what the reports are saying. When your children wrapped in our Tiranga will reach back home tomorrow ….they might be unidentifiable and heartbreaking feeling of loss will unveil for you again… Why God Why?

Saluting you and your brave kids, Mothers of Pulwama Martyrs.
Wish we had the courage to send our own to the front line!

Youth Doesn’t Look Back Middle Age Does!

Kids grow up fast , very fast , they seem to be happy being like food cooked straight on fire. Ready to burn a little ,okay to take the ache and pains of growing up …all in the pursuit of independence and freedom that youth brings in.

Parents on the other hand are like slow cookers, insisting the food needs a little bit more cooking still, keeping an eye on their kids and trying to make them perfectly ready to be an adult. In no hurry to see their sweet little buds to come to full bloom. Looking backwards every now and then, remembering those soft little hands and peachy baby skin. Wondering again and again ….where did the time go ? Time to let go couldn’t have come so soon. There is more to do and their kids need some more cooking to mature, to be on their own. Do they need the hand holding , the vigil and our worrying ourselves sick with parental anxiety? Seems like not anymore ….But Dil To Aaakhir Dil Hai Yaar , Aadat se Majboor!

Slow cookers or not ….kids aren’t waiting for us …. taking our own sweet time to perfect our skill or bothered about how important it is for us parents to get an A  and a pat on our backs for a job well done. They are on the roll. Youth does that to you, the confidence of taking on the world , not happy looking back at kiddish memories as there in front is a whole mysterious , happening life to look forward to.

Youth doesn’t look back, middle age does!

Much Love From A Mom who is looking back today and reminding you to make your young parenting days worthwhile!

Are you A Pygmalion Parent?

I have been hibernating…missing from this space but not from my most favourite topic about what makes kids tick and have been indulging in lots of reading and researching. Something I read today stuck on and thought it was worth sharing. Something that I have been following as a parent forever and ever without the knowledge of the fancy name it is called by in Psychological circles “The Pygmalion Effect”. 

The Pygmalion Effect is a phenomenon whereby higher expectations lead to an improvement in performance.

But why is it relevant here on a parenting site?

Turns out it is one of the key factors of raising successful and well adjusted kids.

The messages we give out during our parenting journey with our kids are the beliefs that are reinforced in their minds. Beliefs that become a blueprint for them. If the blue print is positive, our kids think themselves to be capable and work towards it. If the blue print is negative , they feel their limitations and work towards strengthening that belief in their minds. We often label our kids … sometimes these labels are good but many a times they aren’t. We label them as shy, as not good in studies, not athletic, lazy etc. And these become their reality. Our expectations form the basis of our child’s self-image. So our expectations should be high from them if we want them to perform better. High expectations does not mean we should expect our tone deaf child to become a Beethoven in future. But a belief that they will become their best versions and what makes them unique.

What we tell our kids will either help them reach success or knock them down, inflate their self esteem or deflate it and start a series of self doubting thoughts and lack of confidence. Parents attitude toward their children spills into their kids psyche and influence how they feel about themselves. Therefore it is important for us parents to continuously give out signals that are strong positive impressions. Our children doing well stems from our own unwavering belief in their ability and goodness.

Brooke Hampton’s famous quote, “Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become”, talks about this beautiful power of believing.

So are you a Pygmalion Parent?

If not, stop labeling, and make your kids believe in their strengths by having higher expectations from them & they will surprise you by performing to the best of their ability and better!

I am a Pygmalion Parent and it’s worked for me to be one… my kids are on their  individual journeys and I don’t know where will they reach. But they are sure of themselves and I continue to believe in their inherent strength and goodness! 

Back to being the Happy Twosome again!

Half of our lives are over or let’s say half of our lives are yet to be lived. Been through many stages, a few more milestones to reach ….some which have limits , some other limitless that are right there , others unknown and boundless. Looking forward to all of them ….Growing old -greying hair and those cute little wrinkles which keep getting deeper with each look in the mirror.  Evolving- making life more meaningful, keeping our hearts young, trying the hardest to keep our brains sharp and most importantly going back to being the happy twosome again!

Philosophical today yes ….feeling lost yes but happy as our kids seem to have found their life paths for the coming few years. Also a little sad because this roller coaster stage of babies in our tummies to much taller beings than us seems to have ended the soonest it feels. But no complaints because life has been good. We are living in three different time zones ….counting our blessings for being fortunate enough to give the exposure of different worlds to our children.

Welcoming the new stage, welcoming for sure but also missing the old one …missing it a hell of a lot .Too soon, too too soon right now. There is no blaring music in the house, kids music has been replaced by my phone alarm reminders to call them at their most convenient times….one’s morning is our night and the other’s morning our evening, so phone calls and video chats work well in the morning for one and night for the other. House is the cleanest it’s been in ages, things seem to be all in their designated places forever, kids room doors are open, dog is coping by hibernating, phone chargers aren’t missing anymore, almirahs have never been more organised, bathroom floors are absolutely dry, TV remotes are right there….not in the crevices of sofas anymore. House is weirdly quiet, there are no disagreements, no howling, no pleading for late nights, no fighting , no getting after the kids to clean, get off the phone and asking them to give Netflix a break. No one is pulling anyone’s legs, no drops , no pick ups and no laying the table for four anymore till …sometime to come. Everything seems to be new, changed and our world has taken a 360 degree turn.

Market trips feel needless and when I do make the occasional trip ….the realisation of having no kids at home hits hard. The grocery bill is the smallest it’s been in 19 years. My eyes that have been used to checking out the freezers have small tears rolling down the cheeks because all the cheese slices, the cream spreads and butters seem to looking at me begging to be bought. The dressed up windows in the mall seem to  be waiting for December to come, ice cream vendors have all disappeared from my way back home, the stationary guy in our local market doesn’t give me a familiar grin anymore and evening walks without his brother and sister seem to be much less exciting for our dog !

Lived half of our lives …..half yet to be lived.
Welcoming the new stage but with a heavy heart right now. It’s going to get better I know so going all out to learn more , experience more and work more !

Saluting my parents and all other parents who have been there …done that…..who have done a fabulous job of going back to being the same happy two some again!