A parents heartfelt Note
Being a mother of a soon to be teenager,I would often read about ‘the terrible teens’ and after having sailed through the ‘terrible twos’ I believed that I was fully prepared and equipped with all the tools required to handle my daughter .And then even before I could bask in the glory of being able to successfully handle my preteen ,the ‘ 13 teen’ hit her and hit her(and me) really hard.well !Call it ‘terrifying’ troublesome’ torturous’ traumatic’ treacherous or trying’teens!!!!!It struck me hard that I wasn’t that prepared after all! It’s a very helpless feeling when one is not in control of the situation at hand .It plays havoc in your life and you need someone to show the light!Caught on the back foot , struggling through this ,I would pay heed to everybody’s advice on how I should handle my daughter’s rage issues.Some said I’m too lenient ,a few said I ‘m being too strict ,while others said I should start bashing her up. Her grades started dropping and she had issues with almost every teacher at school.I could feel her distancing from me and others around her.What raised an alarm was her suicidal tendencies and signs of depression.I couldn’t imagine that all this is happening to us considering my anticipatory ‘preparedness’ for defeating the’ teen troubles’!I started doubting my own abilities as a mother until I was referred to Saakshi Singla. From the word ‘go’ Saakshi had this calm around her. A beautiful person from outside and an even beautiful one from inside ,after my first session I walked out of her room feeling confidant, settled and at peace .we all need the right kind of guidance from the right person at the right time. Saakshi’s gift of listening and making one feel valued ,teamed with her immense knowledge and wisdom in tackling children has been a blessing She helped me cope with the situation .She has been a huge support in reaffirming my faith in my daughter. She showed me things from my daughter’s perspective . It’s after her long hours of conversation with me that I got a glimpse of the challenging ‘teenage world’ and the immense pressure they are in .It takes immense effort for the children to deal with the hormonal chaos happening in their own bodies.We often forget that we are the adults and they are the children!!!isn’t ironical that we expect the little shoulders to carry all the pressure and stress on their own when we ,as adults ,can’t even figure out how to battle our own emotions.I owe this revelation to Saakshi. She always told me “Sonali ,believe in her .She takes out her rage on you because she feels you are her safe place”. She has been on call with me even at unearthly hours while my daughter would have an episode or a show down, holding me so that I could hold her .She is God sent for both of us. It’s been over four months of knowing her and I see ,a sea of a change in both of us.She has rekindled my daughter’s innate potential and helped her regain her lost confidence .I was moved to see her association with the underprivileged children and how she added value to my daughter’s life by making her a part of teaching them .She has taught me to value my child’s individuality. The gap is being bridged!!!Saakshi ..Thank you for being a part of the most crucial phase of our lives.. Thank you for teaching me the techniques to sail through this..There will greater challenges ahead..Am I equipped ?Yes I am !But what went wrong with my well thought of game plan and equipment for combating the ‘teenage ‘ earlier?…well..all this while I was carrying the wrong tool set!!!Saakshi ,you helped me realize that the only tool one needs is love ,love and more love.Thanks ever so much , I would continue to need your ever inspiring and positive presence and expertise in my daughter’s growing up years .Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Mother of a Teenager