I have been absconding, I know, deliberately trying to keep away from pouring my heart on paper. But this was essential, the break I mean. Sending a part of my heart out to another continent, a far off land……. wasn’t easy. So many emotions kept clogging my mind in the months that followed, a sense of worry never left me for a minute in those dreadful days. BUT,I didn’t want to record the pain of detachment, the worries, and also because a very dear friend showed me the other side,someone who had been there,done that. She banned me from writing sad stuff and how my heart was exploding and how I am not letting go. She reminded me that , those words I put out in the open are also reaching my daughter. I knew that this transition from being the apple of our eyes to being responsible for everything herself …kind of person …..is tougher for her. She is the one who is alone in a new, scary world whereas I am right here… where I was………still around the familiar.
Anyways back I am a few months later as a new me, who has been there and done that. I have emerged stronger like many before me and many after me will be. Enjoying the growth I see in her, her work , her new relationships , her empty laundry basket , her bed all made up and her kitchen looking lovely with home cooked food. Video calling and Skype Tussi Great Ho, because I am connected and lucky to see her transition into an independent and a very capable girl. Someone who amazes me with her resilience and her courage to keep going on..in such a competitive environment, always trying her hardest and pushing her boundaries with each passing month.
Distance works and distance doesn’t sometimes. Sometimes when she’ s had a bad day , I have to work with just the emoji’s , A real hug and kiss would work better but …….that isn’t an option anymore. All I can do is keep my mom radar always up…picking up pain, fun, frustration, tiredness, irritation and also funnily hunger sometimes in her voice and look over the phone. And then try my best to say the right thing, reminding her to take her vitamins if she looks too tired, asking her to keep going on- when things are tough, edging her to vent her frustrations, make a chore chart if the assignment deadlines are overwhelming her, telling her to eat out if she has too much work as cooking at home would mean….cleaning the sink full of dirty dishes too.The mom radar makes me judge well …when is it that she needs a love note or an encouraging post, an inspiring quote or her cute poses in childhood sibling pictures or fun videos of love of her life, our dog Spenny.
We moms have a great intuitive strength and our Mom Radar works perfectly if we remain connected. Easy and cheap ways to connect are blessings that have given us this chance to see our children grow into their own independent selfs. We are living in good times. Thanks Robert E. Kahn and Vint Cerf for inventing the internet and all the others who made Video calling , Skype and smart phones possible We moms owe you all big time!