It’s tough , I knew, so I prepared very very well …or so I thought!
To let go,to accept the inevitable, detach, feel free and footloose!
I questioned the phrase every time a friend sent a message that said ” Be Brave”. I kept thinking , they know me well enough, I am the strong one……Why do they keep saying that because I know this well ….because it has been written on the wall with a indelible ink since our kids were born….. that they have to go one day …on their own journeys … , so why cry!
I only knew the theory, actually had learnt it by heart , the practical would be easy I thought, all I needed was to apply the knowledge that I had gained over the years….BUT!
Doesn’t work like that…no it doesn’t at all. People still kept saying it will hurt bad, it isn’t easy. Now I know why. When its our time …… it seems like we have left a piece of us behind. The heartache is so sharp and piercing that it seems our hearts will stop……But we live … I lived … so will everyone of us!
I have found solace in memories ….what makes the pain better for me is to go see myself in flashback….when long ago I was leaving for my own journey, excited to have grown up and ready to take on the world ….having little consciousness of my parents plight …. their whole being were aching with the same soul piercing pain. My heart now wants to go back to them and touch their crying souls. I should have hugged them harder then… I should have seen the tears ready to flow from their eyes….I couldn’t see then and I had to live the pain myself and now I can see……how tough it was for them to let go too!
Life has come a full circle and there is no escaping from this cycle of life.So now I am trying to wait patiently for the pain to get sweeter and better by each passing day….like it did for everyone else who has been in the same boat…my parents and their’s and all my friends who had the same battles to fight.
Though free and footloose we will never be……. because we are bound by love forever and it hurts. But let’s thank God for giving us this opportunity to feel so deeply….to feel such love and also such agony!
Cheers to bitter sweet human bonds of parents and their kids!
Cheers to the soul piercing heartaches!
Cheers to having no choice but to let go…. let go!