People say parenting is the hardest when our children are young because they are completely dependent on us. We need to remain in attention forever as it is only us parents who can bring to them the best nutrition, care, warmth, mental stimulation and love.
I say that is the easiest stage of parenting ..easiest because we instinctively know what is good for our child, can read up parenting magazines , can draw from our own parent’s parenting styles and learn from other people’s experiences. And our children listen , they follow, they look up to us , they think us to be God’s who know their pains and can always fetch things for them …that bring them joy. The hugs and kisses are in abundance and have the power to heal anything. Everything is in our control , what they eat, what they do, what they hear , what they watch, the friends they make and what kind of influencers that walk into their lives. We can keep them close and show them only the beautiful side of the world. There are no outside influences, it’s just us and our babies and our decisions and our understanding. I would say that is easy peasy…where is it hard ? …nothing is hard till things are in our circle of control.
And then they start growing up and becoming their own people, people with their own understanding of the world, they form their own set of relationships beyond our homes and our hearts. Many other influencers walk into their lives ….so many that even if we manage to keep an eye on them…we have no way of stopping them. They come with a force so strong ….no less than many tsunamis at different times in their lives.Sometimes we have the power to divert them or reduce their impact on our children but other times they hit us with a much harder force. Reminding us that our circle of control and influence is limited and …and our children have stepped out and are exploring the world with their own eyes, ears , hearts and brains. They are building their own circle of influence , relationships and friendships ….painstakingly for us ….this circle doesn’t include everything that was once in our control …..it’s a circle away from us and much different from us.
Hence the toughest part of our parenting journey is to let go when they are growing up and looking outside and to trust them to keep good influences close and bad ones at bay. We have implanted a seed in our kids ….a seed of wisdom , an understanding of judging right from wrong. We have to have faith in their relationships, their friendships and keep telling ourselves that from here on they have to be on their own. We need to work on ourselves to get settled with the idea of them having their own circle of influence.
This is the most difficult stage …because we know the outside influence will also bring in dangers ….and we know that our children can’t be and should not be wrapped in bubble wraps….we can’t always give them a sponge to break the impact when they hit the hard cold floor whenever they fall. But it is their decision to take , to fall, to get up , to experience life and live their relationships on their own terms. And however tough it gets for us ….we need to sit out and look from the outside and wait for miracles unfold …miracles of our children finally taking good decisions , having a trustworthy circle of influence …having friends and relationships which don’t pull them back ….but instead are a part of their journeys forward.
Cheers to my children’s awesome friends !
Cheers to us parents finally getting the time to sit out calmly and watching our children live their lives intelligently!
And Yes a Big Cheers to their Circle of Influence! Hoping forever it is trustworthy and helps them in their times of need and urges them to be good people Always!