Our children are growing up fast……From the completely dependent on us bundles of joy to we can do everything on our own, big people , from that pair of beautiful eyes looking at us from their cribs to the adorable crawlers …from the two chubby wobbly feet trying to balance their weight on this earth …to fairly abled bodies in that small swing going up and down trying to touch the sky….those eyes filled with wonder and sweet mouths trying to express their emotions in broken sentences to young adults with a huge vocabulary consisting of a lingo which seems alien language to us parents. To those big torsos and well developed brains , to some taller, some leaner but mostly all of them being more confident than us in our time and very very sure of themselves individuals.
Our children are growing up into their own people, independent of our being. And it does hurt a little or yes, not so little but a lot to see the umbilical chord feeling the pressure of the stretch while they are straining hard to separate themselves from us. But isn’t this the same hurt ….our parents felt …and in our hurry of growing up …did we stop …..or could we have stopped. The umbilical chords with our children will be cut just like our parents and ours and nature is going to take its course . Our children are getting ready to take on the world on their own and will not need us as much anymore !
And lots has changed from our times. On the flip side ..they have been brought up with much less fear of God and more fear of performance , fear of losing the race, fear of being lesser than their peers, a lot more competition and comparison. On the good side they have been brought with bigger budgets , lesser stereotypes of what girls or boys could do or should do, lesser expectations of becoming doctors and engineers only , loads of exposure and a feeling that they can do anything in this world. And that is so so empowering….for anyone to have the equipment and ammunition-all in place to achieve whatever they want. The only problem is that this also brings along a feeling of having it easy, and falling in the trap of complacency. Because when things are easy and life is good and when we are happily circling in our comfort zones our growth and evolution is minimum.
Hoping that they understand the depth of the gold mines they are sitting on ..that they have had it better than us and all previous generations put together in terms of encouragement , information which is just a click away, exposure of the beautiful world around which is just a flight away and parents who are willing to walk that extra mile for them to let them realise their dreams.
Are we parents doing our bit right, beyond walking that extra mile of making the finances available ? Are we are making them see the bigger picture ? Are we challenging their brains enough? Hope we are not making it the easiest possible for them … Hope we are encouraging them to push beyond their comfort zones …and asking our children to take the road less travelled too sometimes and we are teaching them to shun the fear of losing the rat race …instead encouraging them to only compete with their own selves. Teaching them to keep making their lines longer …instead of rubbing others’lines to make them shorter.
Let’s teach our children to take the exposure , the independence and the resources they have today to make a life for themselves which is worth living ….let’s teach them to make the most of it, ..let’s teach them to feel the wind between their wings , smell the roses and not cove down but face the thunderstorms of their lives. Let’s tell them to find their passions and go after their dreams and not settle but also on the way …not forget the lessons of humility, dignity of labour and feeling of compassion for people standing above or below on the steps of the accelerator called life !
The umbilical chords are snapping and there is no way we could stitch them back together and it is hurting , hurting bad , but it will get better with time.
And it will soon be OK to have let go when we see our children all grown up into kind and beautiful people …building their own lives well and bringing up their own bundles of joy !