Guilt Trips…Once a Parent , always a parent!


Someone ( I am sure a parent) wrote a hit quote sometime ago.” Once a parent , always a parent”. And how true it is and how universal and relevant it seems for our generation, our parents and grandparents generation and all the generations before that. We have held on to our parents heartstrings forever and now our heartstrings are in our children’s hands and much more tightly so it seems.  Our children who we have given birth to, our children who we have adopted and made our own and our children who come in form of furry balls … our dogs, our cats, our pets whatever animal, bird or insect we have decided to become parents of. Our Furry Ball is the apple of our eyes and someone who our whole family completely and totally dotes on  . And his name is Spencer Singla called “chotu” lovingly by dadi and dadu and is  Speny, SPencie, Penku, Penka and sweetheart for us!

It’s so easy for parents to go on guilt trips. Guilt after reprimanding their kids, guilt when one has got better grades then the other, guilt when one’s birthday treat is not as good as the other, guilt while seeing the movie alone, guilt if work has to take priority over kids, guilt while partying when the kids have to study etc etc. Balancing two children with work and rest everything else has been a challenge  for me forever but that didn’t make me smarter …. as we went on to adopt a five week old baby boy five years ago. And it was on June 10th 2012 that our third child :Spencer became an integral part of our world.

We have a tradition , ritual or may I call it a compulsion to take Spencer (our spoiled with love cocker spaniel )to the school to drop the kids every day. The morning ride ritual in the car is as old as him… five years … well almost. He started riding with us when he was around 4-5 months old. The uneasiness on his face on his first day to school made it clear to me that Spencer had inherited my car sickness trait. Thankfully the car sickness for me is better and I focus on better things like the beautiful greenery, fascinating facades of buildings and people of various shapes and sizes travelling in vehicles shining clean, muddy,  gleaming new or scratched somewhere for sure …the last scenario being predominant on Delhi and NCR roads. Spencer has done a good job of managing the uneasiness and car sickness too. After the leaving the kids , we drive back with him sitting on the front seat enjoying the scenery outside and barking at every cow and stray dog who dares to be walking the same road. It is very entertaining  to see him balancing himself on the front seat beautifully at every pothole and speed breaker on the way. The reason of his constant shifting around in the car sometimes I feel is also because he is trying to find the right spot where the air conditioning is working the best, where cold chilling air draft comes right on his face. And how amazing is it for me to drive back with him with music running in the background happily chit chatting with one child who never back chats.

Coming back to the guilt trips , the young adults in my house aren’t the problem anymore.It’s Spencer dear who is refusing to grow up and is the master of guilting us into a whole lot of things. Guilting us on eating that boiled egg without giving him a bite, guilting  us on not putting the AC on, guilting us in leaving him behind when we are all going out for a movie etc etc. The big one is the morning car ride ritual which he thinks is his birth right. He is up and above early and hovering around me and the kids all morning. Patiently going up and down to their rooms and mine , seeing them getting ready and fussily shoving their eggs and milk down their throats. And then he sits at the door waiting for the words “Lets Go” and the moment he gets the signal ,he jumps and into the car in the back seat, ready to take his brother and sister to school. And God forbid , if I decide to go to the gym or work or anywhere else from school and leave him behind on altar, I will find him sulking the whole day , feeling betrayed with his adorable face buried in his paws . Who would not go on a guilt trip and a big one if faced with this scenario where your pet is giving you a cold shoulder and sulking with the cutest puppy dog eyes…making you feel like death…with looks telling you that you have let him/her down and cheated by taking away his /her birth right of getting attention twenty four seven.

“Once a parent is no doubt always a parent “And I am a proud one of three awesome kids who are my pride and my joy even when they have the power to send me on guilt trips forever and ever. Keep holding my heartstrings always my children and I will  keep finding a way out of these guilt trips!


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